Wild And Highly Dangerous!
by SunMoonAndSpoon
Summary: Shuu Kido has to babysit the Digidestined kids! The kids destroy nearly everything! To make things worse, Sora loves fires, Jyou's sick, Mimi's in love, and Taichi's trying very hard to be nice! The horror! The insanty! Go chibis go! Some cursing. R&R! ^^


Disclaimer: Am I laughing maniacally? No? Then I don't own Digimon.

A/N: I am not sure about the age differences between Jyou and his brother's, so I am bending it to my whim. Shuu is thirteen now, Shin is eight, Jyou is five, you do the math with everyone else. Also I don't know if Shin or Shuu is older, but frankly, I don't care.

A/N 2: My sister Chococat* helped a teeny bit. And my friend Reka helped me come up with ideas and put up with it when I mentioned it 50 times during Math class.

            Shuu did not _want _to babysit. He had other things to do. But the fact of the matter was, he was the oldest, so he had to. But he didn't understand why he had to babysit Yamato, Taichi, Mimi, Koushiro, Sora, Takeru, and Hikari, along with his own little brothers.

            But…he did. He _hated _babysitting.

            "Buh-bye!" Blossom Kido said, as she walked out the door. "I'll be back from the publishers by the end of the day. Shuu, everyone else will be arriving soon."

            Shuu glared at his mother. "Why exactly do I have to babysit those brats?"  
            "Their parents are all busy, and I thought, your already babysitting, so why don't you give my friends a hand?"  
            Shuu growled to himself, as his mother walked out the door.

            Shin walked in. "Is anything good on TV?"

            "Don't you have homework or something?"

            "It's summer."

            "Oh yeah."

            "There's a show I _really _wanna watch. It's called _Liposuctioning Hippos. _It's about hippos who do liposuctions!"

            "That's…um…great…hey where's Jyou?"

            "How should I know?" Shin sat on the couch. "You're supposed to be watching us."

            At that moment, the door opened. It was Natsuko Ishida, dragging in her two children. Takeru was crying in her arms, and Yamato was hitting her. "I don't _want _to go to a stupid babysitter!" He yelled as he kicked her. "It's not _fair_!"

            "Yama-chan, I'm sorry, but I have to go run some errands…"

            Shuu glared at the offending child. What a little brat.

            Yamato stuck out his tongue at him. "Eew! You're the babysitter? Yuck! I hate you already, I just _know_ I'm going to hate you, because I hate _everyone_, especially Mommy!" He kicked his poor mother.

            Natsuko had a pained expression. "Um…Takeru will probably be good…and Yamato…wont. Oh, and Takeru has diarrhea, so prepare to change a lot of diapers." She put Takeru on the couch, and said in a disgustingly loving voice. "Bye Takeru. Mommy loves you." Then she looked at Yamato, who was tearing the pages out of medical textbook. "Um…bye." She put down the diaper bag she'd been carrying.

            Then she left. She likes to leave.

            The little blond boy who wasn't pooping at the time, was eating the pages he just tore. 

            Jyou came walking in. Although older then Yamato, he was still a chibi-chan. And he wasn't vicious. Actually he was a wimp. He liked to make little crying sounds that would make a dog puke. "There you are." Shuu said, not taking his eyes off the TV.

_Liposuctioning Hippos _was on, which was Shin's favorite show. 

            Jyou made a little crying sound. "Where's Mommy?"

            "Mom went…" Shuu searched his limited vocabulary for an appropriate word. "Somewhere."

            "Is Daddy here?"

            "No. Dad's never here."

            More little crying sounds escaped from his mouth. He was not very happy today. And that wasn't good. That meant _much _annoyance for the poor babysitter.

            The door opened, and loud screams were heard. "Mama! Tai hit me!"

            "I did not! You hit yourself you crazy person!"  
            "Wah wah wah…?"

            These voices were from Koushiro Izumi, Taichi Yagami, and Hikari Yagami. More voices were heard. "Tai, stop hitting him."

            "But–"

            "Shhh! I said _stop_."

            Finally, they just came in. Rini Izumi smiled. Tika Yagami let Hikari out of the stroller. "Hi!" They said, smiling. Shuu did not know these people. All he knew was his mother hated them, and his father got drunk with their husbands.

            Now, three more insane and useless children to babysit, Shuu thought. Wonderful.

            "Are you the babysitter?" One of the ladies asked, putting down yet another diaper bag.

            "Uh, yeah." He replied to the lady who was trying to tell her child that he was grounded for hitting the other ugly child.

            "Okay." Rini said. "We'll be back for our brood later." 

            So poor Shuu had three more brats to look after.

            Nothing happened for three seconds. Then things happened.

            Koushiro was in the kitchen, making ice come out of the refrigerator, with no sign of stopping. The floor was getting really cold.

            Yamato had consumed the entire textbook. 

            Takeru was stinky.

            Taichi was whining about how he was bored.

            Hikari was sort of stinky too.

            Jyou was still making little crying sounds. His bad mood was worse now.

            Shin was absorbed in _Liposuctioning Hippos. _When it was over, he instantly fell asleep from boredom. Most eight-year-olds are able to keep themselves entertained, but Shin had a medical condition where he didn't have any imagination. 

            The doorbell rang again. This time, two more women stood before them. One, was holding a little girl, holding a lighter. The girl, Sora Takenouchi, had scorched hair. 

            The other one was also holding a little girl. This girl, Mimi Tachikawa, looked like a little angel compared to the other.

            Both girls were set down, and the women left, saying goodbye.

            Mimi's eyes lit up, when she saw 'the object of her affection', Jyou. Sora's eyes lit up when she saw her object of affection, paper. Paper burnt easily. You see, little Sora was a pyro.

            Mimi ran up to Jyou and hugged him. "Hi!"

            Jyou trembled in fear. "Help…?"

            His older brother, (the awake one) looked at him sympathetically, but made no move to help.

            Mimi hugged Jyou harder. The poor kid was in tears by now. He did not _want _to be hugged by a girl, they had cooties, and being the hypochondriac he was…(A/n: I don't know about the general population of girls, but all the girls I know are cootie-ridden. Especially me!)

            Jyou finally struggled free, and sat on the couch next to his brother. Mimi ran over and sat next to him. Jyou tried to hide under a pillow. He failed. Mimi was smiling ridiculously hard, and staring at him. 

            Koushiro was having much fun in the kitchen. He had just emptied out all the ice from the fridge, and was waiting for it to turn into snow. Being only three, he didn't know that wouldn't happen. 

            Sora was in the kitchen to. She was burning a large amount of paper. I.E Blossom's Novel! She didn't know she was burning something like that though. And frankly, she didn't care. Fire was fire, no matter what it burnt. 

            Suddenly, Sora felt something wet! Koushiro had thrown an ice cube at her! The carrot-topped boy laughed maniacally.

            Now, this was something Sora just couldn't tolerate. So she did something any normal four-year-old would do. "I'm telling on you!" She yelled. She ran into the living room, and shrieked her tale to Shuu. "I was burning paper, and Koushiro threw ice at me!" 

            The word 'burning' is what got Shuu off the couch. Jyou had been leaning on him, and he fell when Shuu got up. But he just whimpered and didn't really notice. Mimi hopped up, and followed Sora and Shuu into the kitchen. 

            The kitchen table was on fire, and the floor was covered in ice. There was smoke everywhere. "Ohmyfeckinggod…" Shuu moaned. Okay, okay, he could call the fire department…or something. He grabbed the phone, and punched in the number. "Um, the tables on fire!"

            "Go out of your house, and we'll be right there."

            Shuu hung up. Then he realized he hadn't told the person _where _he lived. Oh well, they could trace it.

            "EVERYONE!!!" Shuu yelled at the top of his lungs. "GET OUT OF THE HOUSE NOW!!!!" He grabbed Takeru and Hikari, and threw them out the door. The other children quickly followed, except for his own brothers. Shin was still asleep, and for some reason, Jyou wasn't getting up. It took him several minutes to wake Shin. He didn't bother to convince Jyou to move. He just picked him up, and threw him out with the others.

            "Whats goin' on?" Taichi asked.

            "Um…the tables on fire." Shuu said.

            "I _started _it!" Sora yelled, pride swelling in her voice.

            "_What_?" Shuu stared at Sora. "_You_…?"

            Sora nodded gleefully. "I burnt some paper, and it set the table on fire! Isn't that so cool? Remember I told you I was burning paper?"

            "Oh crud…Sora, burning things is not good."

            "YES IT IS!!!" Sora screamed at the top of her lungs. She held up her lighter, and threatened to burn Shuu.

            "Okay, okay, burning things is good, it's good!!!!" Shuu shouted, fending off the lighter.

            Jyou made _more _whiny-moany-whimpery sounds. "Okay." Yamato said, stomping up to Jyou. "You are _really _getting on my nerves! _Stop it_!!!"

            Jyou stopped. His fear for Yamato ran deep. 

            Eventually the fire engine came, and put out the fire. The firemen were all bishounen-y men with tight muscles. Mimi and Sora stared at them, hearts pulsing in their eyes. Then, Sora realized these were people who _put out fires_. And Mimi liked Jyou anyway. So the hearts shattered, and they looked away.

            The muscle-bound men ran away, looking really, really cute. The fire was out. Now they had to go back in the house.

            They went back in, and Shuu walked into the kitchen.  He cleaned up all the melted ice, and walked back to the TV. He loved TV more then anything. He switched it on, and small animals killed each other with various explosives.

             Everyone went back to their various activities, when all of a sudden, a _horrible _smell was smelled.

            Takeru laughed, then winced in pain. The diarrhea was giving him a bad stomachache. He started crying.

            Shuu stared at the baby in disgust. _He _had to change that repulsive things _diaper_?

            He picked up little Takeru, and put him on the table. He opened the diaper, and almost died when he smelled it. The other two people in the living room, Shin and Mimi screamed in horror. Mimi ran out of the room crying. Shin followed.

            Poor Shuu was all alone.

             He proceeded to change the repulsive diaper. He did it pretty much right…except now the table was covered in poop.

            Two tables ruined now. Great. His mother would be _so _happy. He put Takeru in Shin's room and came back.

            Mimi came walking back in, holding her nose. She was holding a large amount of burnt paper. "Lookit this." 

            Shuu's eyes grew large when he saw the paper. "SORA!!!!" He screamed. Sora came running in. "Yeah?"  
            "Is _this _the paper you burnt?"

            Sora nodded. She wasn't smiling now. She knew she was in trouble.

            Shuu almost exploded. _Boom! _Sora thought. Shuu started yelling. "THAT'S MY MOM'S NOVEL! SHE'S GOING TO KILL ME!!!!" Shuu grabbed the paper, to see if it was still salvageable. Unfortunately, it wasn't. It was completely burnt, just like toast. He could really go for some toast right about now.

            Shuu was not a very happy person right now. He had a very weird urge to start whimpering and not moving like his little brother.

            He decided he should see what destruction the other children were causing.

            Koushiro had completely emptied the refrigerator of ice. (It had a cool button-y thingie where you push it and ice comes out.) It had failed to turn into snow, so he was using the computer. He was online now, and surfing the web for those sites where you get to kill Telletubbies. Those things made him feel warm and squeezy inside.

            Shuu walked in, relieved that Koushiro wasn't _currently _doing anything wrong. But then he saw the kitchen. He cleaned up all the ice and water. He didn't know how to replace it with this kind of fridge, so they'd just have to do without ice for now.

            He walked upstairs, hoping no havoc was being wrecked up there.

            He checked the bathroom. Mimi had Hikari in there, and she'd already covered her own face with make-up, and was now working on Hikari. "I'm gonna make you all prettiful." 

            Hikari was obviously unhappy about the whole situation, as she was shrieking her head off. The poor child was trying desperately to rub off the make-up, but failing miserably. 

            Mimi on the other hand, was quite happy. She smiled. Her face had hearts drawn on it with lipstick, she had used blush all over her face, and she had eyeliner on her lips. She looked like a clown.

            Shuu turned on the water, and grabbed a washcloth. "Wash your face…please."

            "NO!" Mimi yelled. "It took me forever to look this pretty!"

            First Shuu put the washcloth to Hikari's face, and washed away the make-up. She seemed quite pleased. Then Mimi. She struggled and bit, fighting him away, but Shuu won in the end, and Mimi looked normal again. After that, Shuu locked the bathroom. If anyone had to go, they could use the downstairs bathroom, the one _devoid _of make-up.

            Shuu went to check on the other barbarians. He looked in the 'studio' which was supposed to be where his mother wrote, but she never wrote there. Mostly, old books published by her, books on how to write, and medical textbooks, littered the room. 

            Yamato was in there, eating them. Shuu picked up Yamato, and Yamato punched him in the cheek. "PUT ME DOWN YOU FREAK!!!" Shuu put his hand to his cheek, trying to rub away the pain.

            "Please don't eat the nice books Yamato. Those ones," He pointed to the textbooks, "cost lots of money, and," He pointed to Blossom's published novels. "My mothers very proud of those."

            Yamato struggled away, and said, "Oh…fine…" He pouted, and ran out of the room.

            Shuu set to work on putting away the strewn papers and books.

            "Oniichan!" Shuu heard someone yell. He didn't think anyone was calling him. Although he could be called, 'oniichan', he wasn't normally called that. His siblings were relatively independent, and when they needed outside assistance, it was 'Mommy' not 'Oniichan.' 

            The call was louder. "Oniichan!"

            Then he heard some little crying sounds, followed by a third call. _Jyou!_

            Shuu went into Jyou's room, where he saw his brother, sitting on the floor, a pile of vomit in front of him. Jyou opened his mouth, and more spilled onto the floor.

            "Oh…dammit…" Shuu sighed.

            Jyou made more little crying sounds. "I don't feel so good…" He whimpered.

            "I kind of figured…" Shuu muttered. He went and got a mop, and cleaned up the puke. "Go to bed…or something." 

            Jyou nodded, and stood up. He was walking to his bed, and then he turned around, and ran to the bathroom. Unfortunately, that was the bathroom Shuu had locked…so Jyou threw up on the floor again. Shuu groaned, and got the mop again. He cleaned up, and got a bucket from the supply closet. He threw the mop in, and dragged Jyou back to his room. "Go to bed, throw up in this. Okay?"

            Jyou nodded, and got into bed. Poor kid felt terrible.

            Shuu left the room and wondered what he was supposed to do now. Should he just leave Jyou there, or actually do something? He didn't know.

            Oh! He had an idea! He went into the bathroom, and took a thermometer out of the medicine cabinet. He walked back to his younger brothers room, and stuffed it into Jyou's mouth. It read 102. He took it out, and put it on the table. 

            Great…

            Mimi and Taichi came running in, screaming at each other. Taichi had a smear of lipstick all over his face, as did Mimi. "I was just making you _pretty_, you stupid _boy_!" Mimi shrieked, holding a tube of lipstick as a threat.

            Taichi held his hands to his face, trying to protect himself. "Get that yucky stuff away from me!"

            Dammit! He'd forgotten to lock the door! Mimi must've gotten into the make-up again! Shuu grabbed the lipstick. "Stay out of the make-up!"

            "I _like _it_, _though…" Mimi sobbed.

            "Other people don't." 

Taichi was trying desperately to rub away the horrible make-up. He finally succeeded, and glanced warily at Mimi. Luckily for Taichi, terribly _un_-lucky for Jyou, Mimi had spotted her 'beloved.' "Hiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!" Mimi shrieked. She bounced onto Jyou's bed, all hyperactive. Jyou covered his head with the pillow. "What are you bein' all lazy in bed for!?" Mimi yelled.

Jyou threw up in response, quite a bit splattering all over Mimi. "AHHHHHH!!!!" Mimi shrieked. "My favorite _shirt_!!!! You _ruined _my _favorite shirt_!!!!" Mimi burst into tears and started running around randomly. Shuu sighed, and grabbed a shirt out of Jyou's clothing drawer. "You'll have to wear this for now."

            The shirt was a pale blue t-shirt with some kind of stain on the bottom. For Mimi to wear it was a repulsive, and purely unacceptable idea. "EEEWWWW!" Mimi shrieked. "That's a _boys _shirt!!!! And it's _ugly_!!!"

            "Well, I'm sorry, but we don't really have any shirts with Barbies and kitties on them."

            Mimi put her hands on her hips. "Well you _should_."

            "Just wear the shirt." Shuu said, sighing.

            "Don't you at least have anything _pink_?" Mimi demanded.

            "No, we have nothing pink." 

            "I'M NOT WEARING THAT YUCKY SHIRT!!!!"

            Shuu sighed. He'd have to hand wash it, because they didn't have a washing machine. _Yuck._

He went downstairs, Mimi following, Taichi leaving for some other room. "Mimi, gimme your shirt."

            "NO!" She shouted. "You icky person, I'm not taking off my _shirt_! You are such a _pervy-bunny_!"

            Shuu stared at her. "Um…I have to _wash _the shirt. And you don't really have anything under there."

            Mimi crossed her arms. "I'm _not _taking off my shirt!"

            Shuu wound up washing the shirt while it was _on _Mimi, which was _extremely _difficult, and took quite a long time. 

            Sora was using all her willpower _not _to use her beloved lighter. She didn't want baby-sitter-man to almost explode again! Maybe this time he would…that would actually be kinda cool…explosions cause fires…

            Without fire, she was bored stiff.

            She sat in the kitchen, watching the oven, and imagining the kitchen bursting into flames.

            "Okay, c'mon Tai." Yamato said with an evil grin on his face. "Lets go."

            They had a wonderfully delicious plot. They were going to _take _the computer Koushiro was using, and hurl it into the TV. It was a laptop, so it would be easy. "You distract him." Yamato said.

            Taichi walked up to Koushiro, whistling badly. "Hihi." He said, sitting down.

            "Hey." Koushiro said, not looking away from the computer. He had blown up 53 Telletubbies, a new record.

            "Um…guess what!" Taichi yelled. He, along with everyone else, knew about Koushiro's 'snow quest.' He really wanted it to snow. Sadly, the first time it'd snowed in his life, he'd been in Miami, visiting relatives. There was no snow there. The next year, he was sick and couldn't go out. After that, it hadn't snowed again. 

            That was why he wanted it to snow so badly. Why he tried something like putting ice all over the floor. Taichi was going to use this to distract it. "It's snowing outside!" He yelled.

            "Really?" Koushiro jumped up, smiling. Poor kid was to young to know it didn't snow in July. He ran to the window, looking for his dream. 

            While Koushiro was looking, Yamato and Taichi took the laptop, and they hurled it into the TV. A soft explosion was heard.

            Koushiro turned around. "Hey…it's _not _snowing…" He sniffled.

            "And…?" Yamato said, staring at him. He and Taichi ran off happily, pleased with their evil deed.

            Koushiro sat down on the floor, crying softly.

            Shuu was _really _hating this. This was an _impossible _job. These kids were lunatics! If he had to do this too much longer, he'd go crazy!

            He figured he should see what Shin was doing. He hadn't seen him since he'd ran out of the room with Mimi. 

            He went into Shin's room, where he was trying to teach Hikari how to play chess. Of course he was failing miserably, as all Hikari currently had the intelligence to do was put them in her mouth. Oh well, at least they were keeping out of trouble. "Hi!" Shin said. 

            Shuu waved, and walked away.

            He looked back at them one more time. Hikari was holding up a King. Shin was pushing her hand back, and showing her what to do. Takeru was sitting near them, watching. Shin muttered something about letting Takeru play next.

            He had an idea. He'd go spend some quality time with Old Mr. TV. When Shuu was younger, about Jyou's age, his parents had been insanely busy. His parents were very young, in their early twenties, so they were always busy. The TV was kind of like a third parent for him.

            He went down stairs, only to see the most horrific sight he'd ever seen.

            The TV…his beloved TV…with a hole smashed right through it. How could this happen? Who could've done something so heartless and evil? 

            Shuu felt a disturbing sense of loss. He had an inhuman attachment to that box of violent images. Now it was dead…never to show him dancing hippos doing liposuctions, or breathmints on a rampage…poor little TV!!!

            He could not fight back the tears. Shuu started to cry. 

            After Shuu had calmed down, he noticed Koushiro, who was staring out the window. He walked over to the child, and said. "Why aren't you destroying anything?"

            Koushiro shook his head. "Why would I do that? Hey, do you think it'll snow anytime soon?"

            "Nope." Shuu said. "Probably not until next year. Sorry kid."

            Koushiro sighed, and walked away.

            Mimi was standing by the radiator in Jyou's room. She wanted her shirt to dry. She was very angry, she had to wear a smelly wet shirt, all because of Jyou! She would've had revenge, but she couldn't. If it were one of those icky people, Taichi or Yamato, she'd have no problem torturing them. But this was _Jyou_. She _liked _him, and besides, it's hard to torment a sick person without feeling just an itsy-bitsy bit guilty.

            Jyou vomited into the bucket again, and stared at Mimi. "Would you mind leaving?"

            Mimi crossed her arms, and pouted. "Why? You don't want me around?"

            Jyou didn't answer. He did not want to lie, and to tell the truth would mean certain death. 

            Shuu came in, holding the thermometer. "Hey." He said to his younger brother. "You feeling any better?"

            Jyou shook his head. Shuu stuck the thermometer in Jyou's mouth, and looked at it. "Dammit…."

            Jyou's fever had risen by two degrees since the last time. Which was just so magical, because Shuu had absolutely no idea what to do about it. "Feel better." Shuu said, turning for the door.

            Mimi bounced up. "I can take care of him!"

            Jyou shuddered in fear. "Oh, no please…"

            "Go ahead." Shuu said. He knew full well Jyou wouldn't like it at all. But maybe the three-year-old menace could do a better job then he could.

            "AHHHHH!!! Crap on a stick!!!!!" Shin shouted, smacking Hikari on the back, in an unsuccessful attempt to dislodge the King piece from her throat.

            Hikari was coughing and choking on a chess piece. Tears were running down her face. The baby did not _like _choking. 

            Shin ran to the door, and yelled. "O-_niiiii_-chan!" 

            Shuu heard him yell. He walked in, growling. Last time he'd been called that it was bad. He _knew _it would be bad again. "Whats going on?"

            "Hikari's choking!" Shin yelled, pointing to Hikari.

            Shuu's immediate instinct was to call 'MOM!!!', but Blossom was not there. Shuu had no clue what to do.

            So he went by his second instinct. He grabbed Hikari's neck, and throttled her until the King came out of her mouth.

            Hikari opened her mouth, and screamed. Wait, did I say screamed? I meant sobbed. Shuu picked her up, in an attempt to shut her up. "Shhh…good baby…it's okay, please stop crying…" 

            Eventually, Hikari shut up and fell asleep. Shuu brought her into the living room, and put her on the couch. Shin followed. "Is she okay?"

            "Yeah…she's fine. Why don't you put the chess set _away _now?"

            "Yeah okay." Shin walked to his room. "Sorry Takeru." He said. "You can't play now." 

            Mimi grabbed a washcloth and ran it under the faucet. She then placed it on Jyou's forehead. "Hehe, this is fun!"

            Jyou shut his eyes tightly, trying to erase the burning sensation on his forehead. Mimi had run the washcloth under burning hot water, _not _a good thing to do.

            "Is that a good thing to do?" Mimi asked, staring down at Jyou. "Is the towel-y washcloth thing supposed to be there?"

            Jyou shook his head. He didn't know if it worked or not, but he knew he didn't like it.

            "Well _I _think it works, so there!" Mimi stuck her tongue out at Jyou.

            Jyou took flung off the washcloth, and tried to block out the sounds of Mimi's voice. She was so _loud_, and the kid had a headache already, he didn't need her making it worse.

            "I _love _doing this!" Mimi shouted. "I think I'll be a nurse-lady when I grow up!"

            Imagining Mimi as a nurse was enough to kill a person.

            Taichi and Yamato were feeling just a teensy bit guilty about smashing the TV and computer. Well, Yamato was. Taichi was really feeling guilty about using the snow excuse to get Koushiro away from the computer. He'd looked so sad when he saw there was no snow, and Taichi didn't like to make people that sad.

            "We gotta do something…." Taichi sighed.

            "Like what?" Yamato said. "We can't pay for any of that stuff!"

            "Maybe we can…" Taichi said, deep in thought. An idea was forming in his little mind. "And maybe we can make it up to Koushiro to."

            "What are you talking about? What about that little weirdo?"

            "We made him sad."

            "Why? Cuz we broke the computer? It wasn't his anyway."

            "No! I told him it was snowing, and it wasn't, and he was really sad. I think he was crying."

"Well that was you, not me."

"You _told _me to distract him, you jerk!"

"I'm not a jerk, _you're _a jerk!"

"No you are!" 

Their endless argument continued for awhile, but they eventually got bored.

It occurred to Shuu that perhaps he should _feed _these little monsters. It was 1:30 PM. Way past lunch time. They'd probably be hungry by now. He was kind of hungry himself.

He looked through the fridge, and shelves. A package of Ramen…some unidentifiable stuff in a bowl…a half a box of Cocoa Puffs…a carrot…potato chips…milk…and some left over chicken nuggets.

Not much, but it would have to do. He'd give the Ramen to Jyou, poor kid had been throwing up so much he probably wouldn't be able to handle anything else.

He had no idea what to do with the other stuff. Hey! He could make a stew! He'd cut up the carrot and put the pieces in the unidentifiable stuff, add chicken nugget pieces and cocoa puffs! Great plan! They'd love it! 

            He dumped the ramen in some boiling water. That was ready in two minutes. He poured it into a bowl, and put the bowl on a tray. He then chopped up the carrot and chicken nuggets, and dumped them in. Then he dumped in the cocoa puffs, and put it in the microwave for five minutes. And he added some chips on the side. 

            The mystical magical sickening lunch was ready. "SHIN, SORA, MIMI, TAICHI, YAMATO, AND KOUSHIRO! BRING THE BABIES AND GET IN THE DINING ROOM!" (These people are…wealthy. So they have a dining room.)

            The children scampered in one by one. Taichi was dragging Hikari, and Shin was trying to get Yamato to hold Takeru, but he refused.

            Shuu brought in his…creation. The children looked at it in disgust.

            Then…the one person who was not called downstairs came downstairs. _Jyou_.

            "Hi." He said.

            "Go back to bed." Shuu said, walking up to him. He grabbed him, and tried to drag him upstairs, but failed. "Come on…"

            "I don't want to. I want to know why you called everyone."

            "It's lunch time! I was going to give you lunch upstairs."

            "It's okay, I don't want lunch."

            "You have to eat."

            "Fine…"

            "Are you going to go to bed or not?"

            Jyou shook his head. "To tired to go upstairs." 

            Shuu was starting to be very worried about his little brother. "Whatever." He got out a bunch of bowls, and gave everyone a portion of the stew. (Except for Jyou, whom he gave the bowl of soup to.)

            The kids stared at their bowls. "What the heck is this?" Yamato demanded, disgusted.

            "It's stew! Try it, you'll love it!" Shuu waited anxiously as the kids took their first bites. 

            "Eeeeewww!" Mimi shrieked. "Are you trying to poison us?"

            "I'm just trying to give you a delicious nutritious lunch…" Shuu sighed sadly.

            Yamato hurled his bowl at the wall. "This is YUCKY!!!"

            Taichi dumped his stew into Hikari's bowl. "All done!" Hikari was shrieking and crying.

            "WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!" She screamed. Shuu stuck a spoonful in her mouth, and she spit it out. "WAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

            He tried to feed it to Takeru to, but to no avail. Takeru wouldn't even open his mouth.

            Sora tried some. "Spicy…but ICKY!!!"

            Koushiro pushed his around his bowl, trying to make it look like he was eating.

            Shin took a bite. He'd normally eat anything, but this stuff was horrendous. "Ummm…is this blood?"

            Then Shuu took a bite, and realized something. _The kids were right! The stew was horrible! _But what else could he do? There wasn't anything left to feed them, and he didn't have money to order out!

            Yamato glared at Jyou. "Why does _he _get soup!!!" 

            Jyou looked up. He hadn't eaten a bite of his soup, but he was at the table anyway.

            "Because." Shuu said, uncertainly. "He's sick, and sick people are supposed to…have…soup…"

            The children stared at him. They were all well aware that soup had no magical healing powers whatsoever. AND THEY WANTED THAT SOUP!!!!

            All of a sudden, there was a mad rush to the soup bowl. Yamato grabbed for it, and Mimi got the other side. "GIMME!" Mimi yelled.

            "NO!" Yamato screamed. "I WANT IT!"

            Then, the soup flew out of their hands, and landed on the wall, next to Yamato's stew.

            "See?" Shuu said. "Now nobody gets anything."

            "Shut up or you wont live to be fourteen." Yamato said, his eyes glowing red.

            "Okay, I'll shut up. I have _no problems whatsoever with shutting up. No sir, not me, if I'm told to shut up, I'll shut up."_

            "SHUT UP!!!!"

            Shuu actually shut up.

            "Thank you."

"I'm hungry!" Sora whined.

"Then eat your stew." Shuu said.  
            "No! I'll _die if I eat that!"_

            Shuu did not doubt that she would. "Okay, you guys'll just have to go without lunch. Go back to…whatever you were doing."

            They all ran off, in fear of more stew. Except for Jyou, who was still sitting at the table. "Could you please go to bed now?" Shuu said.

            Jyou nodded, and walked upstairs. He was very happy when he got to his room, he was very tired.

            Taichi had called everyone to meet in one room. Well, not Shuu, but everyone else. He wanted to meet in the 'studio', but Jyou really didn't want to get out of bed, so they met in Jyou's room.

_                "So guys," Taichi said. "Me and Yamato did something really bad, and we wanna fix it. So I figured we could get some money somehow, and I have an idea how."_

            Everyone was stunned. _Taichi had an idea? _

            "What did you do?" Jyou asked.

            "Eh heh…" Yamato laughed nervously. "We kinda sorta destroyed your TV and computer."

            "Oh." Jyou was about to lie down, then he shot straight up and vomited into the bucket."  
            "Um…" Shin said. "You okay?"

            "Fine, fine. Anyway, Taichi, whats your idea?"

            "We could sell a bunch of old useless junk lying around the house, and make some money. You guys could use it to replace the TV and computer."

            "You know, that's a really good idea." Sora said. "But, can we sell matches."

            "If there are any, sure."

Shuu noticed it was awfully quiet upstairs. He didn't normally notice things like this, however, now that his beloved TV was gone, he noticed a lot more things. Well, this was good. Maybe they were playing a quiet little game, or taking naps.

"Lets sell _this!" Mimi pointed to a cell phone that was lying on the 'studio' table._

"Okay!" Yamato said. "The TV says everyone wants those things."

The children gathered up other valuables, and put them in an oversized garbage bag. 

"I gots the _best idea!" Sora yelled. "Lets sell that bucket in Jyou's room! It's really stinky, but I bet no one will notice 'till they buy it."  
            The other children nodded in agreement. They went to retrieve the bucket._

After they'd gathered a large assortment of things, Shin decided that was enough. Since he was the oldest non-babysitter person, they obeyed him without question.

"Hey, guys, lets set up shop." Yamato said.

"Maybe Hikari and Takeru should stay here." Shin said. "They might mess stuff up."  
            Once again, they obeyed without question. Shin looked at his younger brother. "You watch 'em." 

A protest was forming in Yamato's mind. _He should watch Takeru! He was __his brother! But he didn't say anything, because he wanted to set up shop._

"Umm…eh heh…" Taichi laughed nervously. "I got some other stuff to do. I'll help out later."

"Okay…" The others stared at him.

Taichi scampered off.

Mimi had found a cowbell lying around. (These people have a large assortment of random and useful things.) She was ringing it, and screaming. "Yard sale, yard sale, come and get your junk!"

Sora had put up a sign. It said.Last Yard Sale For Three Years!!! Then it had a lovely little picture of a stick figure burning to death. _Really made people want to come.****_

Yamato had dragged in a table. Koushiro was pricing everything. The cell phone cost, Tu Dolerz or a Peny. An extremely expensive set of medical textbooks was Tree or For Sens. An old bar of candy they'd found in Mimi's pocket was For Hondrid Bazilyen Dolerz.

Shin was, 'supervising.' Which basically meant, watching the others do all the work.

For some strange reason, a customer actually showed up! It was a women, dragging an-unhappy looking little girl along. "Oh wow, you kids sure have a great selection. I think I'll take the cell phone." She paused, looking at the sign. "Here." She gave $2 to Yamato, who was acting as cashier. "Thank you, come again." Yamato said, handing her the cell phone. The woman left, looking very happy.

Taichi had finally found what he was looking for! Detergent! But it was the liquid-y kind…oh well, that'd have to do. It could be snow to! Just sticky…yucky snow.

He grabbed the bottle, and brought it upstairs. He had to get up to the roof somehow. Hey, these guys had an attic, didn't they? He could climb up to the attic, and maybe there was a way up to the roof from there!

            There were stairs up to the attic. It was stifling hot up there. And sort of dark…and scary…but he had to get up to the roof. To make it up to Koushiro, he had to!

            He scanned the room, and found, tada! Another staircase!

            Taichi scrambled up the stairs, and onto the roof. It was so high up. Hey! He could see everybody else from here! Yamato was handing some little boy the medical textbooks. Wonder why he wanted those?

            It wasn't easy to stand on the roof. It was real slippery, and Taichi was having a hard time keeping his balance. 

            He unscrewed the cap, and poured it down. It looked like big rain!

            He really hoped Koushiro would see it! He'd be so happy!

            Taichi's foot slipped. He grabbed onto the chimney. So far, this had been its only purpose. "I don't wanna fall…" He whispered to himself.

            Down below, Koushiro had been completely drenched with liquid detergent. He was crying very hard. Yamato, Mimi, and Sora, were all staring up at Taichi, who was clinging to the chimney for dear life. "Don't worry Taichi!" Sora yelled. "If you die, you'll go to a place with fire!"

            Mimi punched her fiery friend, and yelled up to Taichi. "I'll go get the babysitter guy!"

            But there was no need. The 'babysitter guy' came running out. Shin had already informed him. "What the heck is going on?"

            "Um…" Mimi pointed to Taichi. "He's gonna fall…"

            Yamato smiled. "And he dumped yucky stuff all over Koushiro!"

            "Um…" Shuu was clueless, yet again. "Should we call the fire department?"

            "We already called them." Shin quipped. "They'll be annoyed if we do it more then once."

            They could all see the logic in that, so they decided to should shout instructions for how to get _off the roof. Sadly, no one knew. So the kids just stood, there, watching._

            Shuu on the other hand, was running into the attic, to see if he could get Taichi down. But just as he got onto the roof, Taichi fell!

            Taichi had been crying already, but he was hysterical now. He was going to _die! But maybe this wasn't that bad…now he knew what it was like to fly._

            But the flight ended, and Taichi crashed to the ground, blacking out.

            "Oh _god dammit!" Shuu shouted, running downstairs. He joined the circle of children, standing around Taichi. He sent Shin in the house to call an ambulance._

            Then, Shuu finally noticed the yard sale. Only the candy bar remained. No one was going to pay so much misspelled money. Someone had even bought the bucket of puke! "Um…" Shuu said. "What exactly did you guys sell?"

            Yamato rattled off a list of items, and Shuu thought he'd die right there and then. 

            Jyou came walking outside, the two babies were crawling after him. "Whats going on?" He saw Taichi lying there. "Okay…this is bad." Then he sat down on the grass, as he didn't feel good enough to stand up for long.

            "How could you tell?" Shuu said sarcastically.

            Shin ran outside. "The ambulance is on its way, okay?"

            "Good."

            Mimi tugged on Shuu's pants. "Shouldn't we call Taichi's mommy?"

            "_No!" Shuu shrieked. "She'll kill me!"_

            "Oh…" Mimi did not quite understand, but left it at that.

            After much waiting and worrying, Taichi woke up. He felt a sharp pain in his leg. "Ahhhhowwww…" He moaned. 

            "Taichi!" Sora yelled. "Are you okay?"

            He shook his head. "Nuh uh."

Shuu kneeled down next to him. "What hurts?"

"My leg."

"Which leg, damn you!"

"This one." Taichi pointed to his right leg.

"Can you move it?"

Taichi attempted to move his leg, and howled in pain. "Owww…that _hurts…"_

"Aw crap…" Shuu stood up, wondering when the stupid ambulance would come.

Finally, it showed up. The ambulance drivers were not nearly as cute as the firemen. They were ugly and hunchbacked, with pasty complexions. One was twitching a lot. They took out the stretcher, and loaded Taichi onto it. "Umm…" Shuu said. "What hospital are you taking him to?"

"St. Fishpaste's." The twitchy man said. 

They had learned something new. No one knew that there was a saint called Fishpaste.

            Mimi gave Shuu the money they'd made. "See? We made a whole $9.34! You can pay for the computer and the TV now!" 

            Shuu couldn't bear to tell her that that was only a small fraction of what it would cost.

Rini Izumi and Tika Yagami showed up. They looked very strange, because they'd just had perms. They did not look good with curly hair. "Hiiiiiiiiiiii!" Tika gushed. "We're here for the kids."

Just then, Koushiro, still covered in detergent, came running up. "Mommy!" He hugged her, crying.

"Hi baby…whats this all over you?" Rini said, looking at Shuu.   
            "I actually don't know. I think Taichi dumped it on him."

"What!?" Rini glared at Tika.

"I don't know…also, um, Mrs. Yagami? Taichi fell off the roof and broke his leg."

"WHAT!? Why the hell was he on the roof in the first place?"

"No clue. Please don't hurt me…"

"Well, is Hikari okay?"

            Shuu decided _not to mention the choking incident. He ran and grabbed Hikari, and shoving her into her mother's arms. "She's __fine."_

            "Where's Taichi?"

            "At St. Fishpaste's Hospital."  
            The two women left with their children, discussing the fact that they would never use Shuu as a babysitter again. Shuu cheered.

            Next came the mothers of Sora and Mimi. They collected their kids without comment. These people were scarily un-talkative. Mimi and Sora waved fond goodbyes, and Mimi blew Jyou a kiss. Jyou cringed and vomited.

            Natsuko then came. She picked up Takeru and hugged him. "Was my baby good?" She looked at Yamato. "And him?"

            "Uh…Takeru was good…Yamato was…"

            "Great!" Natsuko said, interrupting, and running off, dragging her two children behind. 

            Now Shuu had to wait for his own mother to return. He felt an inevitable sense of dread. "Jyou!" He yelled. "Go to bed, please!"

            Jyou struggled to his feet, and staggered to his room. He was getting sicker. "Um, Shin?" Shuu said to his other brother. "Go do…something!"

            Shin walked up to his own room, and sat on the floor, staring at the ceiling. He did that a lot.

            Shuu was doing his best to scrape the encrusted stew off the wall, when the door opened. It was Blossom Kido, home from the publishers. She seemed happy at first, but then she noticed the state of the house. She nearly went into shock, but instead, grabbed Shuu by the neck, and shouted, screamed, and threatened his life. "I CANT BELIEVE YOU LET THIS HAPPEN!!!!" And the like. "Where are your brothers?" She asked.

            This was an easy question. "J-jyou's in b-bed…he's s-sick. And I think Shin's staring at the ceiling somewhere."

"You are _so grounded for the rest of your life. Listen, I'll deal with you later. I have to work on my book."_

            "Um…about that." Shuu said, nervously. "Sora sort of burnt is beyond recognition…"

            Blossom just couldn't take that. She passed out immediately. 

            Shuu stepped over his mother, and stared into the broken TV screen.


End file.
